The stigma of it all

Boy, do I know the stigma feeling. From both sides of the coin. I as a child had a speech problem, a significant speech problem. I remember having my classmates 'translate' for me. I remember not even being able to say my name so that the visiting nurse could know who I was. Then in 2nd grade, I had surgery to clip and stitch my tongue, to allow more movement. I also had speech class, now called speech therapy up through 8th grade. Now I'm married and have a son with his own struggles. I know exactly how he feels. I've been there. I know the frustrations of wanting to be able to do something and not being able, whether its talking, etc.

Society, especially today, places so much emphasis on being good, even perfect. The perfect hair do, the perfect body, good grades, etc. etc. When one is not perfect for whatever reason, they are looked down upon, often cast out, or neglected. When children, infants, toddlers, or especially school age children are different, not seen as normal, the stigma is felt both by the parents, and the child themselves.

I know this sounds an awful like a cliche...but it is so true...Jesus would never cast us out because we were different. If we didn't hear, speak, think, act, walk, move, 'right' ...He still loves us and cares deeply for us.....and get this-----He still DIED for us, for all of us!!!!

Now, when a mother is holding a child in their arms, and the little something inside them is telling them that vaguely that there is something wrong with the child...very often the little nudge is right. It is so hard, oh very hard to accept, that one's child is different, that they may require extra time, attention, services, etc. I've been there. I've cried. I was mad....and you know its perfectly okay to have these feelings even in prayer. Did you know that God's ears are big enough to take whatever feelings we have. He wants us to go to Him with these frustrations and even anger and express it to Him, even in tears. He loves us so much.

My son was a fussy baby. From day 1. We didn't know what was wrong. Our first child, not a happy contented baby. At two weeks he was diagnosed with an ear infection. At four weeks, he was diagnosed with acid reflux. He was hospitalized twice by the time he was 8 weeks old. He had undergone a whole battery of tests. When one is this young, a mom has very little time to think, to react. Sometimes situations call for immediate decisions, and feelings are put on hold. Later I felt, Later I cried, Later I was angry. I was exhausted, but I was upset, with everything. But in time as things calmed down, as lifestyles adjusted, as we began to find out what worked best with our little precious bundle...life began to take on more of a normal pattern. Did everyone accept it.....we moved to a new church(my husband is a pastor) when he was about 5 months old. At three months old, when my husband was candidating, it was shocking that there were negative voters. Those who voted were teenagers who told their parents that they voted no because they were not allowed to hold the baby. They indeed were not able to hold the baby, because when they wanted to it was just after a feeding. And when you have an acid reflux infant, a mom doesn't want that baby jiggled, bounced, much less moved until you are sure they have digested that feeding....the consequences...would be messy!!!!

We didn't go out much when he was really little, babysitters are hard to find for fussy babies. I was not working....the thought never even crossed our minds. He required too much care to go to work. Did I have hard days, yes, can I look back now with acceptance, YES. God gave us a wonderful, precious gift. But while he was crying it was not always easy.

Feel free to share your stories. My ears are open.